Yes, yes...I'm well aware that our fine candle manufacturers are selling romance and emotion, not merely aroma. But allow me to list some other puzzling candle (oh, excuse me -- "aromatherapy") names. Find the romance in these:
* Fall Festival -- Ah, yes. The heady blend of cheap, oily carnival rides, junk food and human sweat (these torture marathons are typically run at the end of Summer).
* Ocean Water -- I can almost taste the salt and dead plankton now.
* Farmhouse Apple -- There's a reason apples are sprayed and processed before getting to your supermarket shelves: to purge the farmhouse manure.
* Velvet Petals -- Velvet? I'm sure you'd agree that nothing smells quite as delicious as tufted fabric in which the cut threads are evenly distributed in a short, dense pile.
* Beach Walk -- Essence of sunburn, grit and chafing.
* Vanilla Lime -- Sweet bean plus tart citrus? Not since Roosevelt and Stalin has there been a less comfortable alliance.
* Wedding Day -- What exactly is the smell of broken dreams and deferred hope?
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5 comments:
I am offended. I have midnight pomegranate handsoap and it smells if not lovely, then well, certainly non-offensive. If you have never actually smelled a pomegranate at midnight, then you should hold your tongue young man.
"Broken dreams and deferred hope"?? Wow. Your blog is aptly named (if not all those candles...)
like i said matt -- just one minute in that brain. BTW... I just ended my own rant about LOL about an hour ago. I already know what i was said was funny...that's why i said it. And you know how i feel about the bad boy chefs. Been there.
Oddly enough, I bought a new hand soap today called "Cucumber Song" (sub-labled Ode au Concombre for those of us who prefer to wash our hands in French). I tried to imagine a cucumber singing, and what that might smell like, and nearly had an aneurysm. Perhaps you can enlighten me!
So you admit that you've been to an Old West whorehouse, eh, Matt?
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