Banish These Practices

* Feng Shui Consulting - Feng shui, the ancient bullshit art of arranging objects to facilitate positive "energy," has spawned that ubiquitous cottage industry: the consultant. That's right -- a few thousand dollars can earn you the services of people like Rodika Tchi (whose picture, below, is even more grating than her faux Far East moniker). According to her about.com bio, "Ms. Tchi has been feng shui consulting for numerous private residences and businesses for more than 10 years and has taught feng shui at the University of British Columbia." Taught? Feng Shui? At a University? I can only imagine their course offerings: Molecular Biology, Business Administration and The Art of Moving Your Couch Three Inches to the Left.

Rodika Tchi

* Dumping Gatorade on Winning Coaches - This annoying practice has been giving coaches hypothermia since 1985. (Sometimes worse. 72-year-old coach Coach George Allen died not long after his Long Beach State players dumped a bucket of ice-water on him following a season-ending victory.) Last year, Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers was even showered with the hideous substance on a basketball court. 1985 is the year that brought us such cultural touchstones as New Coke and Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time." Do we really want anything else from that era to survive?

* Saying "Knock Knock" Instead of Knocking - A knock is a socially acceptable auditory intrusion. Softly saying the words as you peek into my office does not reduce its impact. It is akin to poking a goose feather at my earlobe.