There are now 1.3 million unique monthly users of Twitter, the social networking site that allows you to let fortunate souls know what you’re doing at any given time. That number is dwarfed by the 120 million active users of Facebook, whose most popular feature is a Twitter-like window in which you can also inform your "friends" of your waking hours minutiae.
After studying this reality-TV-era phenomenon, I don’t know what’s worse...the stultifying banality of the posts themselves, or the fact that people now rush to the computer (or fire up the phone) to report every ass-picking moment of their lives.
Here’s a sampling of recent posts I encountered on Facebook (with names changed to protect the boring innocents):
* Joe is going downstairs for some sprinkles and ice cream – Would almost be charming if Joe had children.
* Alice fell down the stairs last night and sprained my ankle – Quite a shame that you didn’t sprain your typing fingers.
* Donna flipped a lot of pancakes this morning! – Really?! Was there syrup too??? How ‘bout butter???? Did you cook on a skillet or a frying pan?? Need…more….details!!!!
* Faith is wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! – Even the Muslims?
* Tom is loving the fact his fantasy football team went 10-1-1 and has a 1st rd bye in the playoffs – Checking injury reports during work, eh? Can unemployment be far behind?
* Dave is getting ready to hang Christmas decorations – Can’t wait to experience the garish magic of those porcelain angels.
* Bob is happy that Rutgers may actually go to a bowl game this year – Congrats on that Chia Pet Bowl birth. I’m sure the Florida Gators are devastated.
* Fred is happy that the deal in Switzerland was signed – Relax, jet-setter. Selling paper towels overseas doesn’t make you a business magnate.
* Rick is amazed how cold it has become in the Northeast – It’s late November. And the first part of your word "east" is “North.” 1 + 1 = cold.
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6 comments:
Rutgers is going to a bowl game!!!!! Can't wait.
i just went pee-pee!
I like hot dogs that are grilled not boiled.
My kids are eating cake.
I'm the one who sprained her ankle, and my name's not Alice, it';alksjd;uairje ... ouch! I just sprained my fingers!
I've adopted the habit of using my Facebook status line to pass along absurd little utterances. Just got started two days ago, with lines like, "Andrew is ... cleaning up the evidence. Hey, this Oxi-Clean stuff really works!" and, "Andrew is ... convinced the geese are honking their vicious lies again." Thanks, Matt, for helping me think outside the (text) box!
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